Susi Rajah

The Questions People Ask, Part II

1.    What made you decide to write a romantic comedy featuring the Catholic Church?
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
2.    What do you say about the people who say The Gospel According to Sydney Welles is sacrilegious?
I think that those people are probably just upset about global warming.
3.    How do you feel now that your novel is out? It is out, isn’t it?
It is out. Mostly I feel sick. Because it’s out there, where anyone can read it. Also there’s a possibility that no one will read it, which is worse.
4.    In your novel, the main character has the job of selling the Catholic Church. Are you Catholic?
Not even a little bit.
5.    What have you got against Catholicism?
Only the same thing I have against all organized religion. They just don’t seem to be very well organized. Catholicism is a great example. This is a religious organization that won’t allow women to be priests, but it routinely gives the job to pedophiles. There’s something very wrong with their hiring policy.
6.    What do you think of the Pope coming out —
The pope came out? Really?
— and saying that all other Christian churches are “wounded”, that they are not real churches?
Well, I think it’s really helpful, don’t you? It’s not doing much for the ecumenical movement but it’s very informative for the average consumer. I mean it’s so hard to decide which church is the right one. There are thousands and thousands of them. You don’t want to end up in hell just because you chose wrong. Now that the pope has told us the Catholic Church is the one true church, it makes the choice easy. The pope has to know what he’s talking about because he’s infallible. At least, I think he is, but only when he has the hat on.
7.    Is the Brad Pitt character in your novel supposed to be an allegory of the mindless, dog-like devotion we have toward celebrity culture?
Um, okay.
8.    Do you think writing fiction is a good way to make a living?
Sure, but only if you compare it with writing poetry for a living.

The Questions People Ask

1. Why aren’t you taller?
If you saw my parents you would see that I've achieved quite a reasonable height, within the limitations of my genes. Also, it seems to me that people who drank fresh milk as small children tend to be bigger than people who didn’t. I didn’t. Not because I was deprived in any way but because there weren’t any cows around when I was little, as I lived on a tropical island. Cows are not very adept at crossing the Indian Ocean.
2. Is that your natural hair color?
Yes.
3. Are you from England?
No. I'm from Australia.
4. Why don’t you sound like Steve Irwin?
I never sounded like him, and now my accent has been dulled by ten years of living outside Australia. These days, I just sound affected. Though it must be pointed out that no one in England would ever mistake my accent for an English one. That only happens here in the US. To the English I still sound like an escapee from the criminal colony.
5. What is your favorite Australian animal?
A wombat.
6. A what?
A wombat. It's sort of a dark brown koala that lives in a hole in the ground and runs around on all fours like it's on speed. It’s pretty cute.
7. What is your favorite fruit?
I alternate between mangoes and mangosteens, both of which are poorly represented in this part of the world.
8. What is a mangosteen?
I’m not telling you because there aren’t enough of them to go around.